Protecting Your Energy: The Boundaries You & Your Business Need To Thrive
One of clients inside my mastermind program, the Spiritual Business Mistressmind, asked me recently how I set boundaries in my business.
For context: This question was coming off the back of some serious burnout towards the end of last year for this particular client. As she was returning to more consistent work and starting to show up more online again, she was being really conscious of how she was approaching it because she didn’t want to get to the point of burn out again.
And I know this is a common experience for so many women in business – it is not unusual for high achieving women to experience burnout. It can be a lot to juggle especially when you’re building and growing a business that you care deeply about.
But something that you need to do as a business owner is manage your energy and support your nervous system as it’s one of your most valuable assets.
If you want to grow your business, serve your clients the best you can and create a life that you love – you need to be looking after yourself and managing your energy and stress levels.
So in today’s episode of the Feminine Fire Podcast I am answering this question about boundaries and how you can create the boundaries you and your business need to thrive.
Why are boundaries challenging to set and maintain?
I often support my clients to set and maintain boundaries. This includes: identifying energy leaks, learning to say yes and no appropriately, deciding on the boundaries that will be most supportive, communicating those boundaries and standing strong in them when necessary.
I’ve been doing this work for years! So I’m well versed in the things that make boundaries hard for women.
I have literally heard it all:
“But I don’t want to offend anyone.”
“What if they think I’m being selfish?”
“Will they be able to cope if I say no?”
All of this comes back to the “good girl” people pleasing tendencies that are hard-wired into us as women in our patriarchal society.
We’ve internalised this patriarchal thinking so much so that when we think about doing something as wild and out there as saying “no” – we then feel guilty and all this internalised pressure so we just end up going: “maybe it’d just be easier to say “yes” and keep everyone happy?”
Can you hear me raising my eyebrows at you?
But I get it. We are taught from a very young age that this is what is required of us as women – so breaking out of that mould and unlearning this behaviour can be challenging.
If you’ve ALWAYS said yes to everyone else, saying no is hard. Of course, it is!
But boundaries are important if you want to build a sustainable business that feels good from the inside out. Because you didn’t start your business to be stressed and burnt out.
So how does this “good girl” people pleasing behaviour show up in business specifically?
Leaky boundaries with clients – which can look like:
Responding to client messages all times of the day and night
Going way overtime in your sessions
Undervaluing your time and not pricing your offers effectively
Leaky boundaries with yourself and your time – which can look like:
Always working, never resting
The whole “I’ll just do one more thing and then take a break” but then you don’t actually take a break and just do more things
Eating lunch while you work rather than taking a lunch break away from your computer OR not even eating lunch at all
Leaky boundaries with how you show up online – which can look like:
Spending lots of time scrolling social media
Supporting people for free in the DMs
Sharing more than you feel comfortable with because someone said you had to be authentic and vulnerable online to connect with your community
How do you actually create boundaries that support you in business?
The first thing to know is that the boundaries YOU need to support you and your business to thrive are going to be specific to YOU…
So the first step is to identify YOUR biggest energy leaks:
Where are you giving your energy away consistently in your business?
What’s continually draining and depleting your energy?
Are you feeling resentful about any areas of your business right now?
Your answers to these questions will help you identify where you would benefit from establishing some stronger boundaries in your business.
And then:
Identify what areas of your business require some stronger boundaries
Make a decision – what is the boundary that is going to support you to show up in the way that you want to show up?
Hold the boundary through communication and accountability
And here’s the thing – it takes practice and you’ll likely fuck up and drop the ball and need to reaffirm your boundaries again and again.
Boundaries aren’t a one and done thing.
You’ll need to continually check in and continually stand strong in your boundaries. But the more you practice the easier it will get,
Learning to say yes and no appropriately takes time and you’ll likely not feel super comfortable with saying “no” to others if you’ve been saying “yes” your whole life. So go gently, give yourself some grace but keep coming back into your power.
Only say “yes” when you really mean “yes”, and get comfortable with the discomfort of saying “no”.
Remember that when you say “no” to someone else or something that’s not in alignment for you right now, you are saying “yes” to yourself and your needs, which is powerful AF.
Learning to say “yes” and “no” at the appropriate time is a key way that you can start setting supportive boundaries. And practice makes perfect.
So it’s time to set some boundaries! It’s time to start using the words yes and no appropriately! And give yourself permission to have the boundaries that are going to support you and your business to thrive. Because your energy is one of your most precious assets. You gotta protect that shit!
I hope you’re feeling inspired to go out there and create some beautiful boundaries in your life and business.
You need to if you’re going to build a sustainable business that you love, one that supports you in the season of life you’re in and allows you to show up for your clients, your family and your friends in the way that you want to.